


Hourglass

by macapleasecallme



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Juliantina, Original Character(s), Two Shot, nothing detailed or graphic though!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macapleasecallme/pseuds/macapleasecallme
Summary: "One of the things not many people know about Juliana Valdes is that she used to be a very happy child, but Lupe remembers. As years went by, she noticed a change in her; there was something missing from her eyes. It wasn’t until years later, as she listened to her talk about her new friend, Valentina, that Lupe was able to put it into words. What had been missing all these years was the spark from her daughter’s eyes"A Juliantina one-shot from Lupe’s perspective.
Relationships: Juliana Valdés & Lupita de Valdés, Valentina Carvajal & Juliana Valdés, Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 23
Kudos: 167





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, there are mentions of domestic abuse in the first part of the chapter but nothing graphic or strong. Enjoy!

One of the things not many people know about Juliana Valdes is that she used to be a very happy child, with a bright smile that charmed anyone she encountered. But Lupe remembers.

Even other moms complimented that beautiful grin her daughter sported on playgrounds. Doctors often praised her for being a bright, obedient child with a mischievous smile and lovable personality. She never cried or whined during her shots, she just closed her eyes tight with a slight pout and asked for some candy afterwards.

Juliana, Lupe recalls, could make people fall in love with her in a matter of seconds. Everyone loved her bubbly, charming personality. Even El Chino. Sometimes.

While he always insisted that their daughter wasn’t his, she’d often return from work to find Juli sleeping on his chest with one of his arms wrapped protectively around her and his other on the empty bottle of beer as TV was still on in the background of their small living room. It was moments like this she wished there was a way she could capture the beauty before her eyes.

These peaceful moments were fleeting though. He’d often disappear, leaving little to no money behind. The only person who’d stand by her side then was Maria, Macario’s mother. She was so pleased when Lupe gave birth to a girl. “There’s something rotten in the blood of the Valdes’ men,” she told her hours after she had given birth “our little Juli is safe now.”

When Chino first claimed that Juliana wasn’t his in front of his mother, Maria remained silent. Only when they were alone did she comment on her son’s behavior “Nevermind him, he’s insecure, just like his father. She got your eye shape and chin but the rest is all my idiot husband.”

It’s around that time, when Juliana was about five, that she noticed a change in her. She was still smiling, and charming as ever, but there’s something different. She wasn’t the exuberant kid she used to be. There was something, she couldn’t exactly place, missing from her eyes.

It wasn’t until thirteen years later, while she listened to her talk about her new friend, Valentina, and her dreams of becoming a fashion designer that Lupe was able to put it into words. The thing that had been missing all those years was that glint, that spark from her daughter’s eyes.

Lupe was very skilled at avoiding some ugly truths when necessary. Especially when those truths involved Macario Valdes, or El Chino as everyone called him. Because for her, Chino was it. He was the love of her life, the father of her child, the person she was meant to spend the rest of her life with.

For better or for worse.

She had no issue blaming poverty or bad living conditions as to why Juliana stopped being the happy child that she always was. During first grade, kids made fun of her broken english, her funny accent and her cheap clothes. It was her first taste of how cruel the world could be to those who were different.

So it was certainly not Chino’s fault that Juliana wasn’t as happy as she used to be. Not at all. By all means, he wasn’t the most hands-on dad or really that affectionate but that automatically didn’t make him a bad one.

Lupe’s father? That was a real bad father. Always drunk, always screaming, always beating her for every minute mistake she made as a child. Discipline and hard work was everything in her dad’s eyes.

But El Chino wasn’t like that at all. And when he’d occasionally get drunk and start fights he’d always yell from a distance and he’d throw things at the opposite direction and never in front of their daughter.

That changed one night when Juli was in second or third grade, he returned drunk out of his mind and started blaming them and the world for how his life had turned out. He then called Juliana ‘a bastard child’ and Lupe many ugly names not worth repeating. Even then, he didn’t hit them. He threw the bottle of beer he was holding onto the sink and disappeared for several days.

When he returned he apologized for his behavior and promised he’d never as much as raise his voice ever again. He took them to the carnival the same night, he helped Juliana win a teddy bear and bought her cotton candy. It remains one of Lupe’s happiest memories from that time in her life. It’s truly a shame that Juli was too young to remember how sweet and kind Macario could be.

Lupe loved to excuse El Chino’s behavior by comparing him to her dad and often to his own father, both of them never failed to use their fists whenever they deemed necessary. Maria wasn’t quite as lenient though. She told her that her son was a lost cause, that he’d turn to physical violence sooner than later. She urged her to leave him before it was too late for little Juli. Lupe refused to listen, refused to believe that he was so far gone.

She refused even when he backhanded her one time while drunk. Really, it was her fault; she stood too close to the kitchen cabinets when he tried to open them. Lupe told herself that all the times he hit her didn’t really count. He was drunk and no one is really themselves when drunk. Besides, he always apologized afterwards and his angelic blue eyes were filled with regret while doing so. Most importantly, he never laid a hand on Juliana and at the end of the day, that’s all that mattered.

He only hit Juliana once in his life, when she was ten.

She returned home more excited than she had seen her in a long while because she had won a drawing competition at school. Lupe left briefly to buy a cake to celebrate the news but when she returned she found them fighting. When Chino saw her he started yelling at her instead, once again blaming her for all his failures.

Even years later, Lupe can’t recall the exact sequence of events. One moment she and Chino were screaming with Juliana getting between them, next he pushed their daughter out of the way and against the door. Then she saw her small body falling harshly on the dirty road outside their trailer.

Amidst the chaos, Lupe had forgotten to close the door properly which meant that it opened with the push. Next to Juliana there was a big rock, just millimeters away. It was out of pure chance that she didn’t land to that rock. Lupe didn’t want to think of what might have happened just because she didn’t close that damn door.

Before she could reach for her daughter, Maria and Jorge were already there helping her stand up. Juliana must had informed them and decided to come over to celebrate.

Next thing Lupe remembers is the look on Maria’s face. She was calm and collected but there was this fire behind her blue eyes that made her scarier than an entire cartel. “Jorge, take Juli and Lupe to the hospital. Your son and I need to talk.”

On their way there Lupe hugged her daughter and kissed her temple. Juliana looked more angry than hurt and her eyes were wet with unshed tears. She wanted to tell her so many things. To let her know it’s okay to cry. Instead she kept hugging and kissing her, only the music on the radio breaking the silence.

Years later, during therapy, Juliana finally told her how the fight started. Her art teacher wanted her to participate in a regional competition. Of course that meant they had to pay an entrance fee and drive for an hour on a Saturday morning. He refused, she went on to call him selfish and the fight escalated quickly.

Juliana didn’t complain when the doctor started cleaning her wounds. The only real sign of her pain was a wince when he was stitching her forehead. When the doctor asked them what had happened, before Lupe could open her mouth, Juliana explained “Some kids pushed me and I slipped.” The doctor didn’t pry further.

Afterwards, they found Jorge at an ice cream parlor nearby. Juliana must have eaten four scoops of pistachio ice cream that evening but when they left she had a small content smile on her face.

They were planning to sleep at her in laws’ place that night but Jorge dropped Lupe off at the trailer first. He parked out of Chino’s sight as they waited for her to pick up some stuff.

In all the years she had known him, Lupe had never seen her husband like this. He was sitting on the edge of their bed crying and, for once in his life, didn’t care if he looked unmanly. When he saw her he fell to his knees and hugged her tight. After some very long minutes he got up and handed her an envelope.

On their way to the car Maria held her hand and whispered “If he does this again to either of you, come and find me.”

Lupe never found out what Chino and his mom talked about. She never asked and he never told her but whatever it was affected him deeply. In the letter he apologized and promised he’d never do it again.

She didn’t believe it at first until she read that he promised to admit himself to a rehab center the very next day. He kept his promise.

This was their rock bottom, Lupe figured, and from there the only way was up.

* * *

When he disappeared a week after they celebrated his 30 days chip, she expected the worst. Her fears were shot down when he returned with a huge amount of money and a kind smile plastered on his face.

It was the same smile she had first fallen in love with when she was just a 19 year old girl.

He took Juliana for some father – daughter bonding time. They returned late at night with balloons, some leftover candy and a Hawaiian doll in her hug. Lupe could tell that this doll was expensive. It must had cost more than all her toys combined, but she hadn’t seen Juli so happy in so long. And, at the end of the day, that’s all that really mattered.

This was one of the reasons Lupe refused to acknowledge Maria’s words. Macario wasn’t an abusive husband.

Abusive men don’t buy balloons and dolls to their daughter. They don’t own up to their mistakes and they certainly don’t try to do better. Abusive men don’t love their families which he definitely did.

El Chino was a good man with a bad addiction and an ugly childhood who found himself trapped in terrible situations beyond his control. In his mind, Juliana wasn’t his but even that didn’t stop him from loving her. He taught her to count to twenty and he let her fall asleep on his chest.

He was, at his core, a good man and a few ugly incidents shouldn’t erase that. Right?

For a while they were happy but everything changed when two years later his parents decided to leave San Antonio and spend their golden years in Matamoros, the place they left behind when they moved to the states. The night before their departure Maria told Lupe and Juliana that they were always welcomed there, no matter what.

Lupe soon realized that she had lost her only ally. Her mother in law was the glue that held their fragile family together. Their sudden absence was tough on all three of them.

For her, it was more difficult than ever to manage their home with two jobs and the limited help her young daughter could provide. Juliana was more isolated than ever as she could no longer visit her grandparents whenever the trailer became too overwhelming. Chino took it the hardest. He fell back to his old ways, getting drunk and disappearing for weeks at a time.

It was during that time that Lupe found out about his real ‘job’. One night he returned all bloody and with what looked like a bullet wound on his arm. He demanded that she stitched him up without going to the hospital. At some point he became delirious from the pain and confessed to everything. Thankfully, their daughter happened to be sleeping at a friend’s house for a school project.

As for herself, she didn’t know how to react to the news. There’s no way she’d hand him to the cops and she knew better than to ask him to stop. She wasn’t sure if that was even an option.

So, she remained silent and for many years she let their daughter believe he was having another family somewhere. As ugly as that sounded, it was still better than the actual truth. After all, there’s only so much a thirteen year old kid could handle.

As Juliana was growing up she started becoming a beautiful, bright young woman. Hardships had toughened her up but they also helped her develop a strong moral compass.

One time El Chino came home drunk, reeking of booze and covered in lipstick marks. Lupe knew better than to engage with him, but Juliana didn’t. She had never seen her daughter so angry. She started screaming, calling him names and pushing him away from the two of them. It was one of these times that she was very afraid of what might happen. After a few futile attempts to de-escalate the situation, she stood next to them in high alert, not interfering but ready to separate them.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt.

Chino slammed the kitchen cabinets but other than that he limited himself to just screaming. After a while he even stopped doing that. He took a deep breath, clenched his jaw and looked his daughter in the eyes and, with an expressionless face, he simply told her “If you’re so ashamed to be my daughter then I’ve got news for you. I’m not your fucking father.”

Juliana had heard that before but this time it looked like it affected her in a profound way. Maybe it was the way he told her, not as an excuse to get away from his responsibilities, but as an undisputed fact. Like he truly believe it.

When she heard that she ran away to the darkness of the night but Lupe was able to catch up to her. They went for ice cream. She patiently waited in silence for her daughter to calm down before commenting “The alcohol makes him like that Juli.”

“I don’t care” she replied and she started wiping her nose, new tears started forming in her eyes. After more minutes of silence she whispered “Is it true?”

“No, of course not. Your abuela always said that you look exactly like your grandpa, except -”

“-for the shape of the eyes and the chin. That’s all Lupe!” Juliana mimicked her abuela’s voice, the two of them briefly smiled at that. “I wish he was right...”

That statement rendered Lupe speechless, she didn’t know what to say or how to feel. “Don’t say that again Juli. He loves you.”

“No he doesn’t but thank you for saying that” she gave her a bitter, defeated smile. She then got up from the table and she retrieved her earphones from her pocket, ending their conversation there.

Things were only getting worse over the next four years. During what would have been Juliana’s Quinceañera, Maria and Jorge visited them for a week. It was one of the very few happy memories they had during those years. It was also the last time they saw them. Maria died from a heart attack five months later and Jorge severed all ties with them.

Whenever Chino and Juliana were in the same room they mostly refused to acknowledge one another and when they did it was only to shoot snide remarks. El Chino was absent during all of Juliana’s birthdays, preferring his ‘job’ to his own family.

Even during her most delusional moments, Lupe could admit that Macario wasn’t the most reliable husband. She alone had to protect their daughter for all the evil in this world.

She didn’t complain. She loved her daughter above everything else and as a mother it was part of her job. She just wished she had some help from Chino. It took her a very long time to realize that, more often than not, the danger she was protecting her daughter from was none other than him.

By the time Juliana turned eighteen, they had learned to completely rely on one another. They were a team. Both equal. In some ways her daughter was more mature than her, to the point that sometimes Lupe forgot that Juli was barely an adult.

That teamwork came in handy when they had to leave Texas and chase Chino to Mexico City. At the end of the day, the three of them were a family and a family should stick together for better or for worse. She was only 19 when she first met Macario and promised her a better life. Now their daughter was 18. She had spent half her life next to him and she wasn’t willing to throw everything away.

If she was being honest with herself, Lupe wasn’t sure if she could make it without him. Like when their bus made a stop during their long travel to Mexico City. The lady sitting behind them told Lupe that she saw two strange men following Juliana to the bathroom. If Macario was with them, he’d make sure none of them made it out alive. Lupe was alone though. All she had was herself, a baseball bat the driver gave her and her fearless need to protect her daughter from all evil.

* * *

When Lupe and Juliana first set foot in the huge city of Mexico, they had no idea their life would change forever. In her mind they’d stay temporarily just to chase El Chino and then they’d leave again. Probably somewhere near Matamoros. As soon as they arrived in Mexico, Lupe reunited with Panchito, her high school fling. As for Juliana? Juliana met Valentina.

Valentina Carvajal, a beautiful, sweet girl with a bright and bubbly personality that contrasted perfectly with Juliana’s. Looking back now, Lupe understands that the meaning ‘opposites attract’ doesn’t refer to gender.

Aside from all the problems the two of them were facing in this enormous, imposing city she was glad to finally see her daugher happy. She was laughing and drawing more than ever before, a smile plastered on her face most of the time.

There was this glint in her eyes that Lupe hadn’t seen in over a decade. Deep down she felt guilty. She hadn’t realized until then how isolated her daughter truly was. It took her 18 years to develop a real friendship.

When Juliana told her that they fought about money, Lupe got a glimpse of Chino’s explosive temper on her. Quick to make assumptions throwing logic and reason out of the window. All that to far lesser extent of course. Because, unlike her father, Juliana was mature enough to realize she was wrong and tried to fix her mistake. She went above and beyond to apologize to her new best friend. Even going as far as to make a shirt for her.

It broke her heart to see her daugher getting so sad over a fight with a friend. As tough and independend as she could be, Juliana was at her core a deeply sensitive girl. She wanted to tell her that no matter how sweet and nice Valentina was, she was rich which automatically meant that they lived in two different worlds. If a boy wouldn’t eventually get between them, class and money surely would.

Among the chaos of their lives, her getting kidnapped and almost killed, she failed to notice what a constant Valentina had become in her daugher’s life.

Lupe isn’t proud of her initial reaction.

After she and Panchito made love, she returned home to walk in on Juliana kissing Valentina. On the mouth. Her daughter was kissing a girl. She doesn’t exactly remember what happened next, all the details remain blurry in her head. Everything about this was wrong.

Juliana knew better than to fall for rich people’s games. Money can be enchanting to the middle class, let alone to a girl who grew up in poverty with no friends and a bad male figure as a father.

At this moment, she felt like she had finally seen Valentina Carvajal for what she truly was. No one rich is unselfish without having something to gain. Valentina was nothing more than a bored rich girl who sought a new thrill.

And that thrill was corrupting Juliana.

Valentina had pushed them away from each other. Because before that girl came into their lives Lupe and Juliana didn’t have any secrets. There’s nothing more sacred than a mother – daughter relationship and that girl managed to destroy that bond. Maybe beyond repair...

If it weren’t for Panchito, she doesn’t know if they’d have ever made amends. He was patient with her as he tried to educate her, to make her understand why homosexuality was normal. Why two people of the same sex could fall in love.

But no matter how many articles she read or how many stories she heard about people she knew, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that this kind of ‘romance’ was wrong. Abnormal. Hard as she might, she couldn’t understand what she did so wrong, where exactly did she fail as a mother...

Generally speaking, Lupe never believed that a single moment could profoundly change a person. People are who they are and any change is only temporary.

That was until Juliana got kidnapped. She was in complete disarray and had no idea what she was doing. Her insticts told her that she could trust Beltran, her guardian angel, and everything was Valentina’s fault.

It was her fault that Juliana had left their home, that she stayed at Perlita’s restaurant which left her vulnerable to all kinds of danger. The only positive thing was that at least her daughter had a boyfriend now, a handsome young man named Sergio.

She decided that her duty as a mother was to do whatever it took to keep her daughter safe, to save her life. Consequences be damned. What was the point of being alive if it meant that Juliana was dead? She was willing to sacrifice herself for her daughter’s safety.

But Lupe didn’t count on one thing. She was, by nature, a runner. She ran away when Chino adandoned them, she had been running away from herself for years. She refused to acknowledge what a dangerous bastard El Chino was. And now she was going to lose her daughter because of him.

When she saw a gun pointing at Juliana’s head she wasn’t nearly as brave as she wished she was. As soon as the narcos saw her she started running. A part of her hoping that this was enough to distract them from their initial target but mostly it was her stupid instict to run away.

Next thing she remembers is falling to Valentina’s arms and watching a guy around her age getting shot by a drug dealer.

Then many gunshots.

She felt all the blood draining from her face.

One of these bullets could very well hit Juliana. And there’s nothing she could do about it.

It took her a long time to register the girl sitting next to her on the back of the police car. She was in a state of delirium, mumbling incoherently. The only thing she could make out was an occasional ‘Lucho’ but most frequently the word ‘Juliana’. Her motherly insticts kicked in and, without realizing it, she hugged Valentina, a girl far too young to witness everything she just did.

The wait at the station lasted forever, or at least that’s how it felt like to her. When she received a text from Juliana letting her know she was safe, she informed Valentina and she gladly accepted a hug from her. It wasn’t until inspector Montilla informed her that Valentina was the one to call the police that the chaos in her brain finally settled.

It dawned on her, Valentina succeeded where everyone had failed. While Lupe was busy panicking and following a stranger’s commads, the girl had not only managed to track down the drug dealers’ location but also inform the police. Instead of staying in the safety of her mansion she drove to where Juliana was, willing to put her own life on the line.

Valentina Carvajal had saved Juliana and Lupe.

Lupe never believed that people could change until she saw herself changing as she realized how selfless Valentina’s love for Juliana truly was.

When she finally hugged her daughter she let tears stream down her face, still not believing that she was alive. A busted lip was the only proof that everything that had happened was real. But the respite was short-lived. Beltran was there to announce that he was indeed El Chino trapped inside Beltran’s body.

At that moment she let all the pent up pain, all these years’ anger out. She screamed at him everything she kept hidden inside in the darkest parts of her soul. And when he left, Lupe felt like she could finally breath again. After twenty years she was finally free. Her daughter was safe and sound in her arms and she had Panchito by her side.

She couldn’t ask for more.

Later the same night she found Juliana sitting on the porch, unable to sleep. She made them both some tea and sat next to her in silence, holding her hand. “I messed up mama,” she whispered “it’s all my fault.”

She took her daughter’s face in her hands “None of this is your fault Juli. Everything is going to be alright now.”

Lupe had never seen Juliana looking more frail and broken than in that moment. She looked so young, almost like a child. Her daughter, in her very short life, had experienced more pain, trauma and loss than most people do in their entire lives.

As a mother, her duty was to keep her daughter safe. She wished there was some kind of spell that could take Juliana’s pain and make it her own. But there wasn’t.

That night Lupe stood by her side, hugging her tight as she cried for hours. And even when her daughter finally fell asleep, in the wee hours of the morning, she refused to sleep or leave her side. She knew Juliana. The moment she’d wake up she’d be her usual strong self, she’d brush her feelings aside to make everyone else feel safe.

A lesson Juliana must have learned from Valentina was that it’s okay to not be strong all the time. Juliana allowed herself to be weak for one night and she was right there to stay strong for her.

This was their rock bottom, Lupe figured, and from there the only way was up. Only, unlike the last time she had told herself that, this time she was right.

* * *

The new house Panchito found for them felt more home to Lupe than any other house she had previously lived in. The place Lupe grew up in was suffocating and the trailer even more so. Milagros’ room was the most unwelcoming space she had ever stayed. The house Valentina had lent them was beautiful but she never really felt like she could quite fit in. She felt like a beggar staying in a palace. That wasn’t the case for their new home, the moment she set her foot in she felt like it was meant to be theirs.

Everything had finally started to fall into place. This was their new beginning and not even Beltran’s looming presence could scare her away. Things in her life were starting to get better and she wanted to see the same for her daughter. It was more than the girl deserved.

She tried to be encouraging, to let her know that Valentina and her would eventually get back together again but Juliana wasn’t as convinced. Lupe did a lot of self reflect during those days. She looked back at every single interaction between the two girls. They clearly loved one another and there’s no doubt in her mind that they’d have their happy ending.

Lupe thought a lot about Valentina one particular day. She was out and about in the new neighborhood when she heard the news about Eva Carvajal’s money laundering scandal. That family’s life sounded a lot like the telenovelas Maria Valdes used to watch.

She felt really bad about her though. It was obvious from the way she talked that she was close to her family. Valentina was already an orphan and now her sister was going to be locked up in jail, because not even all the money in the world could buy her freedom. She was essentially going to lose another member of her family.

When Lupe returned home a couple of hours later, she was surprised to find her and Juliana talking. She tried her best to make them both feel safe and confortable, to make them realize that she had wised up and was supportive now. The taller girl rushed to leave when she found out from her about Eva’s scandal. Before she did though, Lupe made sure to give her a hug. It was more akward than she’d have liked but make no mistake. When she hugged Valentina, she welcomed her into their lives for good.

In the following days many shocking events happened. Panchito proposed, Beltran gave them money and promised to no longer be a threat, Eva was jailed and Lucia Borges, Mexico’s widow, was brutally murdered.

Surprisingly, the most shocking of all was that Valentina came out on national television. She even mentioned Juliana by name. Lupe didn’t think twice when she told her daughter to go find her. Not as she was dressed though, too casual for her television debut. Her daughter was the most beautiful girl in the world and all Lupe wanted was for Mexico to found out too.

Thankfully their home was relatively close to Grupo Carvajal and if they hurried a little she could be there in time before the interview ended. That’s when Roberto, their upstairs neighboor, came in play. He’s a 35 year old bachelor who’s a biker and a hopeless romantic and he was more than happy to drive her there. Lupe never liked motorcycles, they’re death machines, but she’s positive that La Muerte wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her.

When Juliana left, Lupe was restless. She checked the clock and her phone every second for news. She turned on the sound to listen to the rest of Valentina’s interview, the girl was clearly here to stay and there’s no harm in finding out more about her. Eventually, she settled with ironing the clothes in front of the TV just to busy herself while she waited.

As the interview was coming to a close, she received a text from Juliana ‘ _Just got here,_ _I’m safe_ ’. Lupe’s gaze shifted between the text and the screen. This belonged to the top five most suspenseful moments of her life.

She watched as another camera followed Valentina when she left Victoria’s set and walked towards the exit. A reporter started asking her some questions that Lupe didn’t pay any attention to. She was anxiously waiting to see her daughter appear on the TV but just when she started getting worried that the security might not let her in, she watched as something got Valentina’s attention.

And Lupe knew.

She immediately grabbed her phone, got closer to the screen and started recording. The TV lenses didn’t do Juliana’s eyes justice and her voice sounded a little bit weird but none of this mattered. Lupe tried to hold back the tears from her eyes, only when the couple was out of sight she stopped recording and let them stream down her face.

She was truly happy for her daughter.

A part of her felt relief when she realized that she wasn’t pretending. She really didn’t care if her daugher was in love with another woman. Her happiness was all that mattered and as long as Valentina was treating Juliana the way she deserved to be treated, she was more than welcomed in their lives.

Lupe decided against calling her daughter, opting for texting instead. ‘ _You two looked great! Send Valentina a kiss f_ _rom_ _me!_ ’

‘ _Mama, I’m gonna be late today_ ’ she texted back without acknowledging her.

‘ _Ok mija. Have fun ;-)_ ’

‘ _Mama!_ ’ and a second later ‘ _We will._ ’

Lupe laughed and put her phone to charge. She went on with her chores, while checking out what TV programms and social media had to say.

Hours later, a smiling Panchito returned and greeted her with a kiss and a boquet. She kissed him and then smelled the flowers before placing them on a vase. “How was work?”

“It was okay, nothing much” he shrugged and got closer and placed a kiss on her collarbone “Let’s order today. What about chinese?”

“No, I’m done with chinese.”

“Pizza it is” he said and kissed her again before grabbing his phone. After he ordered he wondered “Where’s Juliana by the way?”

“Out. With Valentina.”

“Oh really? What happened?” he smiled, interest apparent on his face.

“You know the usual. Valentina came out on national television and declared her undying love for one Juliana Valdes. Naturally, I asked biker Roberto, from upstairs, to take her there to tell her she loves her back. They’re walking off into the sunset as we speak. Adrea Escalona, the host of ‘Hoy’ called them the couple of the decade. Their joined name, ‘Valiana’, is a trending topic on twitter...”

Panchito tilted his head and scratched a spot on his forehead “Queee?”


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, they’re all super sweet and encouraging! I decided to split the second chapter into two parts since it got longer than I originally planned. Enjoy!

Maybe El Chino was onto something when he claimed Juliana wasn’t his. She was too good to share any of his genetics. The more Panchito spend time with Juliana the more Lupe felt that, in some strange spiritual way, he could be her dad. They certainly quipped like father and daughter and they had a soft spot for one another, as much as Juliana tried to hide it at first.

Panchito was the hands-on father she deserved all these years. As soon as the girls got back together he proposed that he and Lupe try to educate themselves on LGBTI issues.

After Valentina’s public coming out everyone’s lives changed drastically, mostly theirs but Lupe also found herself in awkward situations. Like that one time Juli and her were at the local supermarket and she was recognized by some girls who asked for selfies. Or another, not so well meaning moment, where the two of them were kicked out of a cafeteria for the exact same reason. Of course all it took was one tweet from Valentina herself; everyone boycotted them and they were out of business within months.

Surprisingly enough, after a few months the interest started to dwindle and, for the most part, everyone went back to their relatively normal lives. With Valentina’s connections, Juliana was able to get a second chance at Rafaela’s school of fashion and design and after passing the exam, she earned a scholarship there.

Lupe wasn’t all that close to Valentina at first and Juliana remained closed off but she could deduce that the older girl’s life was complicated. It had to be after finding out that her father was alive, coupled with Eva’s preganancy and high profile case. Not to mention the death of Lucia Borges. A woman who was both a mother figure to Valentina and someone who played a key role to her father’s murder.

Lupita’s life was only looking up though. One of her favorite things about that stage of her life was the game Fridays for the four of them, once again Panchito’s idea. Strangely enough, Valentina and Lupe always paired up. That was, in a way, what brought the two of them closer. They made a better gaming team than either of them did with Juliana.

That was mostly due to the fact that Juliana turned into a competitive monster during those games and only Panchito could handle her. Sometimes...

Their latest favourite game was poker but Five-Card Draw, not Texas Hold ‘Em like Chino used to play. The four of them would somehow always end up splitting in the same old teams because both Pancho and her had terrible poker faces. So, Lupe would give the rest of her chips to Valentina and his to Juliana.

Even in moments like these it was perfectly clear how in sync they both were. They could read each other’s body language perfectly which only made the games all the more intense.

One particular time, they had been playing for hours and each team ended up having about the same amount of chips. Valentina didn’t reveal her hand to her but she must have had a very strong one. After taking one look at her daughter though, Lupe began to doubt her teammate’s certainty about their win. The focus and determination deep buried underneath the most stoic face known to man was enough indication that Juliana also had a strong hand. Probably even a royal flush.

“I’m all in” Valentina said and pushed all her and Lupe’s plastic money in the middle.

“She’s buffling” Juliana explained to Panchito and with a smug grin she mirrored her movement “We’re too.”

“Are you sure about that Juls?” Valentina gave a slight smirk.

“Of course I am. You did that lip tick you do whenever you try to hide your disappointment.”

“I don’t do ticks” Valentina said flatly and Juliana playfully rolled her eyes.

“If you say so Val” Juliana laughed and revealed her cards.

She had full house which was a very strong hand. But still much weaker than Valentina’s four of a kind; and aces no less.

Juliana’s mouth hung open in total disbelief, she blinked twice and shook her head. “You tricked me!”

“I. Tricked. You.” Valentina replied and stuck her tongue out.

“Who are you?” Juliana buried her face in her hands. “No seriously, who are you? I’m dating a monster.”

Valentina slowly dragged all the chips to their side, making a show of it. Then Lupe and her got up from their seats, high fived and started doing their victory dance before they hugged each other. Juliana remained in her position, hands wrapped around herself

“Oh baby don’t pout. I’m sorry” Valentina said once she calmed down and took a look at her girlfriend.

“I’m not pouting” she whined while definitely pouting “and you’re not sorry.”

“No I’m not” she agreed but walked to her and started kissing her cheek.

“I can’t believe this. That’s it. I’m dating Soraya Montenegro” she sighed “Soraya. Montenegro.” Unfortunately for her, her little smile betrayed her. She practically melted in her arms.

“I have an offer to make” Panchito said with a grin, clearly amused with their shenanigans. “Let’s put all the money in the middle and play one last game.”

“And why would we do that?” Lupe asked him, feigning arrogance.

“I’m in.” Valentina said before Pancho could give his reasons. The girl stared at her, silently asking for permission. Lupe gave her a mischievous smile and nodded in agreement.

“If you’re in, I’m in” Juliana offered her hand for a firm handshake and Valentina took it “To the death.”

“To the death” Valentina repeated.

Juliana went back to her seat and started shuffling the deck with extreme focus. “This is war. We’re _so_ gonna beat your asses.”

They didn’t.

* * *

Not all memories were happy though.

It’s never easy for parents, loving parents that is, to come to terms with the fact that they’ve been the source of additional trauma for their children. When Lupita found out she was pregnant she promised to do anything she could to keep her unborn child safe from all harm.

It’s a promise she tried to keep to the extent that she could.

Like when Juliana asked Lupe about her abuela, Maria Valdes. “What do you think abuelita would think if she were alive? About me and Valentina?”

Juliana was someone who could always handle the truth. She could deal with the fact that had Maria been alive she’d had absolutely despise Valentina and the nature of their relationship. She’d refuse to speak to Juliana for months, if not years, and she’d do anything within her power to fix Juliana’s ways.

She could almost hear her voice, ‘Some of that evil in the blood of the Valdes’ men has poisoned our little girl’. But as Lupe stared at her daughter she realized she had experienced enough pain and many ugly truths in her young life. Juliana adored her abuelita and Maria had been dead for years.

“Oh she’d have simply adored Valentina. She’d have come with you to pride with a rainbow flag and everything.” Juliana laughed at the exagerration but she was clearly relieved with what she heard. She smiled fondly at the memory of her late grandma.

Lupe had always been, in many ways, quite naive. Her negative feelings towards her daughter’s homosexuality had only lasted a few days. Surely that wasn’t long enough to cause any lasting pain.

Or so she thought.

Sadly, even months of blind love and support weren’t enough to mend Juliana’s wounds. And clearly, there had been some feelings of resentment that Juliana harbored towards her, dormant, until one simple event triggered them.

It was towards the middle of Juliana’s first semester at Rafaela’s school. She was working on an important project and she hardly slept during those days. Lupe also had many things on her mind. Perlita decided to make her the manager of her restaurant which came with a lot of responsibilities. In addition, she had to deal with preparations for her wedding which was only getting closer.

Needless to say that neither of them were exactly in the best state of mind. A simple, everyday disagreement about chores escalated to a full blown argument.

As with every distressing fight, her recollection is blurry. One minute Juliana was rolling her eyes at her and the next she was screaming. Lupe’s not sure if she said something she shouldn’t have or not but whatever it was, Juliana’s face winced. She then blamed her for ‘the Sergio thing’.

Lupe could vaguely recall that Sergio kid. He was a friend Juliana had made when they first arrived in Mexico. During the kidnapping, Valentina introduced him as Juliana’s boyfriend but after the chaos of that day Lupe forgot all about him. She assumed it was just a miscommunication between the girls or maybe Juliana’s attempt to make Valentina jealous. Whatever it was, he disappeared from their lives for good shortly after. So why did her daughter even mention him?

“What is the Sergio thing?” Lupe asked, genuinely confused. Juliana scanned her face but after a moment, her face turned red.

Juliana usually acted in two ways when she got angry. She’d either make assumptions and jump to conclusions which made her lose her tempter. She was a lot like her father during those moments but, unlike him, she’d cool down after a while and apologize. Whenever she felt like she was on the right though became extremely stubborn. She’d try to reason with Lupe and if that was fruitless then she’d remove herself from the conversation and wait for her apology.

But neither was the case that day, which really worried Lupe. She saw anger in her eyes and something else that she couldn’t exactly place which came from a dark place. The tears had dried from her face and Lupe felt like she had to take a step back, just enough to give her daughter space to breathe.

The surge of anger had subsided and turned into something else. Quiet. But there was something threatening underneath that vail of calm. When she stared deeply into Juliana’s face she noted a profound form of pain reflecting into her eyes. The kind of pain Lupe had only scarcely witnessed and seemed to connect all the women of her family, like an invisible thread.

She first saw the same expression on the mirror when she was about her daughter’s age. Swollen eye and bruised lip, as she promised to leave her parents behind and never look back. Whatever Macario Valdes had to offer in Texas was better than this. She witnessed it once again on Maria’s face when she glanced at her son who had just hit his own daughter, the same thing his father had done to them both.

And now the same expression was on Juliana’s and she knew. Something horrible had happened between her and that boy. Was Sergio, and not the drug dealers, the source of the cut Juliana had on her lip when she returned to her?

Lupe’s face must have shifted because Juliana’s expression softened. Afraid as she was of what she might hear, she didn’t hesitate to ask her daughter about what had happened. Much to her surprise, Juliana didn’t resist. She shared everything about that day.

She talked about how she felt when she saw Valentina in the arms of her ex and how Lupe had gotten into her head with talks about ‘normal’ relationships and her lack of experiences with men. How Sergio looked like the only person on her team, her only friend and how he gave her alcohol knowing fully well she didn’t drink. And how he, who always had a crush on her, took advantage of her fragile state and poisoned her head with lies. And so, when she kissed him he didn’t stop her. No, not only he didn’t stop her. He slept with her under the guise of helping her figure out her sexuality. It was immediately after she left Sergio’s apartment that she got kidnapped.

With each sentence Lupe’s heart broke even more so for her daughter. Juliana had experienced a form of abuse which was completely different from everything else she or any women in her family had gone through. And it was even more severe. It could have been strong enough to destroy her spirit. Lupe felt like she could only now fully comprehent why her usually strong daughter looked so broken when she came home to her that evening.

Lupe tried to fight back tears. She had to stay strong, to keep it together for Juliana’s sake.

But how could she after hearing everything Juliana went through before the kidnapping?

She also now had to come to terms with another terrifying aspect of this. She was essentially to blame for all the pain the young girl had experienced. As Juliana was sharing one of her most traumatizing moments of her life, Lupe also faced one of her deepest fears.

She had failed her daughter, she had broken her promise to protect her no matter what. She let her fall pray to a terrible man because of the thoughts she had planted on her head. She was just as guilty as that coward who took advantage of a vulnerable, heartbroken drunk girl.

When Juliana finished speaking, Lupe was at a loss for words. She didn’t know what to say, she opened her mouth but no sound came out. She cleared her throat and finally found the strength to speak “I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through and I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you mija.”

“Thanks and it’s not your fault mama,” her voice was weak and stared at the ground “I’ve already forgiven you for your mistakes and shortcomings. This one wasn’t yours.”

“No, Juli, it was my fault. I was stupid and ignorant” she took a deep breath “You have a beautiful, kind and forgiving soul. And you should never let anyone take that away from you.” Lupe touched her daughter’s chin, identical to hers, “I want you to know that I love you so much mija.”

“I love you too ma and...” Juliana finally met her gaze, “and it took me a while to stop blaming you for that day. Valentina helped me a lot with that. She told me that you were in a way a victim too. I never doubted your love but you had been raised to hate gay people and everything they represented. I suddenly became everything you had been taught to hate but you couldn’t hate me so you tried to change me...”

Lupe felt surprised by her words, “But you didn’t deserve anything of what I put you through.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I’m so sorry Juli, for everything I did and I didn’t do” Lupe hoped her daughter could feel all the sincerity her weak words carried.

Juliana nodded “I have forgiven you a long time ago but thank you for apologizing. I really needed to hear that.”

Lupe smiled and pulled her daughter in a suffocating hug “You’re so mature mija, just like your abuela. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.”

Juliana gave her a watery smile “Thank you mama.”

“No, I thank you” she kissed Juliana’s temple “Now get up, we have some chores to do!”

She never told another soul but that night Lupe managed to track down Sergio’s car and she keyed it. It was a petty move but it was worth it. She then bought pistachio ice cream and they watched Lion King.

Because that fight happened during the weekend, Panchito was out spending time with his kids. When they talked about it, he suggested that the two of them start going to therapy. He believed it was a healthy way to deal with their traumatic experiences. They were both very skeptical at first but, like with most things, he turned out to be right.

After the fight, Lupe tried to be more active in the advocacy groups Panchito and her had joined. She also tried to educate herself deeper on LGBTI and social issues. It was too much for her at first, she found all the different labels and words one should and shouldn’t use very confusing.

It took her a while to get there but when she eventually did, she felt very proud of herself. She could nowadays say that some of the people she met there had become true friends.

From her activism, although she hated that word, Lupe had also learned a lot of new lingo. One morning during breakfast she decided to prove to her daughter just how cool of a mom she was. She had just finished her breakfast and kept the rest company.

“So girls, which of you is the top and who’s the bottom?” this prompted the two girls to start coughing and choking on their food. Juliana in particular chugged all the water in front of her.

Panchito got up akwardly from next to her. “I’m going to go and do something” he scanned the room. “I’m gonna buy some brown sugar, we don’t have any brown sugar. Why don’t we have brown sugar?” with that he run to the door and left.

Lupe couldn’t understand all the commotion. Adriana, one of her new friends who was bisexual and also the coolest, informed her that top and bottom isn’t as much about sex as it’s about relationship dynamics. Top isn’t someone who’s more dominant in bed or more masculine but the one who call the shots, who makes the decisions. In that regard, in her and Panchito’s relationship Lupe was the top even though she’s a woman and he’s a man.

But, judging from the look on the girls’ faces, maybe top and bottom had to do with sex after all...

“Well mom,” Juliana cleared her throat and started rambling “Sexual intercouse between two women is different than between a man and a woman. The roles during sex aren’t as clear cut as in heterosexuals which means-”

“Oh, don’t worry mija. I got you,” she interrupted her daughter, patting her hand “you’re the bottom.”

Lupe grabbed the empty plates from the table and went to the kitchen to do the dishes, leaving a dumbfounded Juliana behind. After a moment of silence she heard Valentina’s erupting laughter. The older girl’s giggles seemed to go on for a while before dying down.

“God, I love your mom” she said while trying to catch her breath.

“That makes one of us Val” she heard Juliana mumbling. The very next moment Valentina started laughing again, and this time Juliana joined.

* * *

Lupe and Juliana couldn’t revel on their newfound stability for long. There’s always one person who was there to disturb their peace. El Chino.

El Chino, who had promised to leave them alone and gave them money, no strings attached, called Lupe on her birthday. She knew her ex husband like the back of her hand so she was sure he wanted something from her. What surprised Lupe though wasn’t that he indeed had an ulturior motive but what that motive was.

He wanted to have a relationship with Juliana.

It took him nineteen years but he finally wanted to be a father to her. Too little, too late...

The reason he was calling her was because Juliana refused to answer his calls and he wanted to respect her space which was why he hadn’t showed up uninvited. After a long conversation with Panchito she decided to pass the message along to Juliana without trying to influence her decision.

When she told her, Juliana was visibly upset. She rolled her eyes and refused to meet her gaze, focusing on the ceiling instead “So now he wants a relationship.”

“That’s what he told me.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Yes, I think that’s what he wants at the moment.” Juliana looked even more lost with this answer, it’s almost like she was hoping to hear the opposite.

Lupita understood because she felt the same. She knew how to handle an angry, manipulative Chino but a honest Chino? That was almost unheard of. It was a part of him she had almost forgotten it existed.

“What do I do now?” she asked weakly. She looked so vulnerable, like she could barely keep it together.

“I don’t know mija, that’s entirely up to you but I’ll support your decision no matter what” her daughter gave her a faint smile. She then hugged her and left for a walk to clear her mind. She returned hours later and told her that they’ll meet for coffee the following Sunday.

The first time they met was, according to Juliana, awkward at best. Aside for some small talk at the beginning, they remained silent most of the time. With that in mind, Lupita genuinely thought that this was it. Surprisingly, he called again and told her he had a good time and arranged another coffee date three weeks later.

This is how they slowly started building a relationship; they’d meet every three weeks either alone or with Javier and they’d start opening up. Lupe remained in high alert, waiting for his next screw up. But that moment never came and it seemed like he might had truly changed. He even invited Valentina himself in one of those dates which was completely uncharacteristic.

Lupe got glimpses of the man she had met and loved as a teenager. That led her into a dark path which she tried to keep hidden from Juliana and Panchito.

Somedays she’d get angry at him, because his recent actions showed that he was capable of love. He had it within him to be a decent father to their daughter. All these years he just simply refused to. He chose the easy path instead of putting the effort and doing what’s right.

In some darker moments she found herself wondering if everything was her fault. After all Chino had no issue taking care of a kid that wasn’t biologically his and it was only when she wasn’t around them that he started developing a relationship with Juliana. So maybe she’s the one who did everything wrong.

Her therapist told her these thoughts are normal for someone who had spend two decades in an abusive relationship. But they’re as normal as they’re false. Therapy helped her understand that all these years she wasn’t only a victim of physical abuse. His manipulation had ran deeper. He was constantly gaslighting her to the point that even to this day she could still hear his toxic words in the back of her mind.

He also used to often ‘borrow’ the money she made from her two jobs and spend them on booze and god knows what else. His ‘job’ made him a lot of money which rarely ended in her hands, even when she had to skip meals so Juliana wouldn’t be hungry. She had became emotionally and financially depended to him thus making it impossible to leave.

And now he wanted a relationship with his daughter...

Thankfully, Panchito was there by Lupe’s side, not pressing her with questions and giving her all the space and support she needed. He made her feel more loved and secure than Chino ever did.

Lupita tried to push all these feelings away, for Juliana’s sake. Because as much as her daughter claimed to hate him she seemed increasingly happy to have a relationship with her biological father. It’s probably something she secretly longed for since she was a child.

On his birthday, Chino invited Juliana, Valentina and her to his party which took place only half a month before her wedding. She originally didn’t plan on going but Juliana insisted and she couldn’t say no to her. Besides, she was very curious to see up close how their relationship had developed.

Aside from Javier’s best friend, they were the first guests to arrive. Alicia greeted all three of them cordially. She was a nice woman and under different circumstances they could have even been friends. Javier was polite but clearly flustered whenever Valentina smiled at him. Lupe wondered if the boy knew the truth.

Lupe watched as Chino pulled Juliana in an awkward open hug. “Happy birthday Beltran” she wished, not revealing his true name in front of Javier’s friend “I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to.” He clumpsily opened the bag and retrieved a white t-shirt with a black tie as a print. They both laughed, probably at an inside joke. His smile remained, barely visible underneath the thick mustache but it was there. He coughed and cleared his throat in an attempt to control his emotions and pulled Juliana in a warmer hug “I love it, thanks.”

As more guests started arriving, it became increasingly difficult to keep an eye on her daughter. From what she was able to see, Valentina and her spend most of the time with Javier and his friend, probably giving them advices on how to talk to girls. Chino was holding himself so differently that at moments she forgot he was the same man she had been married to for twenty years.

Lupe still got some glimpses of the good old Chino. She noticed how fidgety he was getting whenever he was growing tired of a conversation; trying to show with his body language that he was no longer interested in what that guest had to say. She also saw him whenever he got jumpy because he couldn’t go outside for a smoke, or interrupt a conversation to grab another beer.

After dinner was over, Lupe got very caught up in a conversation with Valentina and another guest so she didn’t notice that Juliana had joined Chino on the backyard while he was smoking.

From where she was sitting her daughter was fully visible but she could only see the left side of Chino as a door was in the way. Valentina must have followed her line of sight because she somehow found a polite way to get rid of the guest. So they both focused on the pair.

They were standing next to each other both leaning against a wall, hands wrapped around themselves, their arms almost touching. They were holding a casual, friendly conversation. At some point Chino said something and they both laughed, Juliana’s head felt backwards. Lupe then saw something which might have looked insignificant to the untrained eye but it had tremendous meaning. As they’re laughing, Chino almost patted Juliana’s shoulder but he retrieved his hand without touching her.

An onlooker could have taken this as a sign that he didn’t want to touch his daughter or that he was awkward around her. But that wasn’t the case at all. Juliana had always been afraid of his touch and he knew that. Lupe could tell that not touching her shoulder at that moment was the hardest thing for him but decided to do what’s right. Chino was finally respecting Juliana’s boundaries.

A bitter laugh escaped her mouth before she could hold it back. Valentina turned to her with curious eyes, asking her what’s wrong. “Juli never required much as a kid, all she wanted was some love and attention from her dad. Look at them, it could have been that easy.”

Valentina gave her an understanding smile “From what Juls told me, he was a terrible man but he wants a second chance. That’s good isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not.” Lupe looked at Valentina and felt jealous of her kind, optimistic personality. “It’s dangerous.” The girl nodded at her words, understanding the implications behind them.

“But he wants a relationship with her. That’s a first, right?” the girl said and judging from the look in her eyes it seemed like she was almost pleading for a reassuring lie. She didn’t want to believe that Chino was capable of causing her pain again.

“He’s done this before back in San Antonio” Lupe confessed, “but Juli was too young to remember. He had tried to repair their relationship a couple of times until it became too inconvenient for him.”

She noticed that Valentina got gradually angrier, she grinded her teeth and she bit the inside of her tongue.

After long minutes of silence, when her words had settled in, the girl said in a low serious voice “My dad has changed since he transmigrated. Even with his grief, he’s more involved in our lives than he ever was before his death. Maybe Chino feels the same?”

“Maybe. I’ll talk to him.” she squeezed Valentina’s knee and got to where her ex husband and daughter were.

The two ended their conversation abruptly as soon as Lupe got within earshot. She approached them and told Juliana that her girlfriend was waiting for her inside. All three of them knew it was an excuse but she complied.

Once Juliana left, Chino opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him “What the hell are you doing Chino? What are you doing?”

“I don’t understand what-”

“You understand perfectly well!”

“I want a relationship with Juliana, that’s all I want.”

“Why now?” she asked, not buying his words.

“Jorge died. A week before your birthday” he said after an intense minute of silence. “I knew before I got the call from the hospital. I was sleeping and I woke up feeling” he turned his hand into a fist and touched his chest where his heart was. He always had trouble expressing himself but she was expert at reading him. “I don’t have any good memories with him and I don’t want Juliana to feel the same way when I die. I want her to have some pleasant moments to remember me by. And I want to get to know her. I really do.”

“You’re lucky Juliana has a big soul. God knows you don’t deserve her.”

“No I don’t. You raised her well. I’m happy she’s giving me a chance” once again their gaze locked. She tried to detect any trace of deception in his eyes, but she found none.

“If you ever as much as make her cry Macario, I swear to God I _wll_ kill you myself!” her face was numb but she knew tears were running down her face. She took a step back and turned around.

Breathe in, breath out. Breathe in, breathe out.

When she turned back to face him, he was staring at the ground. Their eyes met once again and with the same stoic face, the one that meant business, he simply said “If I ever as much as make her cry I’ll give you my gun to do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, this chapter had a lot of angst but the third chapter is 90% fluff, I promise!  
> Just to clarify; I hate Chino and he’s the worst but judging from their final scene, I do believe that Juliana would want a relationship with him...


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very late update. Life happened, then the corona virus alongside a terrible case of writer’s block. No, seriously. It took me two weeks to finish the last 700 words. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Her wedding day will always be one of the happiest days of Lupe’s life. Her and Panchito decided to keep the ceremony lowkey since both of them had been married before. The preparations had gone smootly, for the most part. With Juliana’s advice she picked a simple yet elegant wedding dress that made her feel like a princess.

Surprisingly, the only point of contention was related to who was going to walk her down the isle. Lupe hadn’t spoken to her father in twenty years and she wasn’t planning on changing that. Many volunteered; El Chino, Jacobo Reyes, their romantic biker neighbor Roberto and even Barbara at some point.

In Lupe’s mind though, there wasn’t any doubt as to who she wanted. Juliana didn’t hide her tears when she asked her, she took her in a long embrace and agreed wholeheatedly. They spend the night before the wedding just the two of them. They ate ice cream and started reminiscing about their past and talked about everything that led them to this very moment.

As they were walking down the small aisle of the chapel, Lupe found herself hesitating. Her hands started trembling and turned to look at her daughter, so beautiful in her suit. Juliana must have sensed her fear because her grip became tighter and she gave her a reassuring smile.

Valentina, who sat in the first pew during the ceremony, remained discreet the entire day. She must have felt like this was Lupe and Juliana’s day and she didn’t want to draw any attention to herself. Also, after much pressure, she didn’t buy them a wedding gift.

The wedding reception went on until very late. After dancing for hours Lupe decided to give her legs a break and stared from her seat at the various guests’ state. Some were just as tired as she was while others were in different degrees of intoxication.

Her eyes landed on her daughter; she had unbuttoned her white shirt, her tie loosen around her neck. She and Valentina, who was wearing a silky peach colored dress, were one of the few remaining people on the dance floor, still not tired of the slow love songs. Lupe watched as, at some point, Juliana whispered something to the dj and then how Valentina’s eyes sparkled in recognition when an old yet familiar song started playing. The two girls danced and laughed carelessly, completely oblivious to how some people stared.

She smiled with the girls’ happiness. Juliana was making her proud every single day and the more she got to know Valentina the more she understood why her daughter loved her. Lupe wasn’t blind, the girl was gorgeous. But it was her personality that shone though like a beacon of light, illuminating the darkness that had been casted over Juliana’s soul for far too long.

* * *

Their thoneymoon came and went with a blink of an eye and September started with a surprising announcement. Perlita decided to retire and wanted to pass down her restaurant to Panchito and her. Their first step after signing the contract and all the legal documents was to renovate the place. They weren’t planning to change it completely but they did want to modernize it.

Panchito requested that he start working part time on his main job so he could dedicate most of his energy to the restaurant. Juliana started her sophomore year at Rafaela’s school of fashion and design while Valentina was in her final year of studying journalism. All of them were busier than ever.

Lupe quickly discovered that being a manager and being an owner of a business were two completely seperate things. Her responsibilities had increased immensely, not to mention the fear of destroying everything Perlita had worked her entire life to build.

She returned home after a particularly rough day at work, fully convinced that Juliana hadn’t done her chores. Lupe understood, school was kicking her butt lately but at the same time it was impossible for her to take care of the household all on her own. She was older, with a far more demanding job, not to mention how larger their current home was compared to their San Antonio trailer.

So, Lupe was more than surprised to find the house perfect condition, almost every surface thoroughly cleaned. The only sound was coming from the kitchen, where Juliana must been doing the dishes. Lupe walked in there expecting to see her daughter only to find Valentina in front of the clogged dirty sink. The girl had a desperate look on her face and hands buried in the water shoulder deep. Was she trying to blow up the house?

“Valentina is everything all right?” the girl jumped at her voice.

“Lupe, sorry I didn’t hear you. You’re back early” she replied nervously, eyes shifting between her and the sink “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asked as she left her bag and coat on a chair “Where’s Juli by the way, she’s the one that should be doing this.”

“She’s sleeping, she wanted to do the chores but she was exhausted from that project and I send her to sleep” the girl said nonchalantly, hands still inside the sink.

“You mean you did everything all alone?” Lupe raised her brow in disbelief.

“Yes, almost. Juls showed me how the vaccum works and she put on the washing machine.”

Lupe was overcome with emotion, she felt the need to envelope Juliana’s girlfriend in a hug and also to apologize for being so quick to judge her. Of course that feeling quickly turned into terror once the girl removed her hands from the sink.

“Valentina, why aren’t you wearing gloves?” the girl looked very confused and Lupe felt even worse for her. Lupe opened the second drawer and showed her a pair of pink rubber gloves. Valentina’s mouth gaped open and for a moment the only sound breaking the silence was the droplets that were falling from the taller girl’s fingertips. Suddenly they both started laughing at the absurdity of the situation “I think Juls overestimates me sometimes.”

“No she doesn’t but she should have showed you the gloves” she smiled at her “Go clean up, I’ll do the rest.”

“No, there’s no need Lupe. You’ve been working all day-”

“And you were in school today, you cleaned our house and Juli told me you just started your dissertation” the girl opened her mouth to disagree but Lupe had none of it “Seriously, go. It will only take me five minutes.”

Valentina nodded reluctantly and with a small bounce she ran to the bathroom. By the time she re-emerged from there Lupe was almost done with the dishes. “Do you need help with anything else?” she kindly asked.

She was about to decline but she remembered, exhausted, that the washing machine’s program must have been completed and she now had to iron and fold the whites before placing the new ones on the drying rack. “How do you feel about ironing some clothes?”

“I kinda like it actually.”

Lupe brought the rack and set up the ironing board in the middle of the living room near the TV which they let play in the background. Before she could start folding, the girl forced her to sit and eat her dinner and she started doing that chore instead. As much as Lupe insisted, Valentina didn’t take no for an answer.

“Chivis taught me how to iron and fold about a year ago, she has some back problems lately” Valentina explained. Once she finished folding she started the second chore with swift movements “Besides, it’s an important life skill. Not to mention that Juls hates ironing.”

It was a factually correct statement that Juliana hated it, it’s the only chore she adamantly refused to do. The first and only time she had tried it, when she was younger, she accidentally burned her left hand.

The implications behind that statement took Lupe by surprise. Even at their young age, the girls were considering a future together. One which involved sharing household responsibilities. It was completely logical line of thought and Lupe realized how hypocritical she was being. After all, when she was about Juliana’s age she was already married and pregnant.

That didn’t mean that Lupe liked the idea. Not because of who her daughter was dating. No. Even though Juliana grew up faster than she should have, even though she’s fiercely independent and knew how to take care of herself; she will always be her little baby. It only felt like yesterday when she first held her in her arms.

Truth be told, she didn’t know how not to be Juliana’s mother. For better or for worse it had always been the two of them. Together they survived poverty, abusive men, natural disasters and cartels. She wasn’t ready to let her daughter go just yet.

Valentina also seemed lost in her own thoughts. It was obvious from how her movements had slowed down. Something was off with her and Lupe’s gut was telling her that it had nothing to do with their conversation. Lupe’s first thought was that it wasn’t her business to interfere, but as she saw a slight pout forming in Valentina’s mouth she suddenly remembered Maria Valdes.

When Juli was just a little baby she had told Lupe that even though Macario was her biological son, she loved her like a daughter. At the time, as touched as she had felt, she couldn’t comprehent those words. She looked at her baby and knew that she’d never be able to love anyone as much as that little creature.

It was at this very moment that she finally understood the late woman’s words.

She motioned for Valentina to come sit next to her and when she did, Lupe pulled her in a warm hug. She drew soothing circles on her back, just like Maria used to do whenever she was upset. Valentina had grown up without a mother just like Lupe. Because, even though her mom had been alive during her childhood she refused to show her any love or protect her.

She knew how important a mother’s hug was and she hoped she could be just as good of a substitute as Maria had been for her.

They sat on the couch and they stared at the telenovela that was playing on the television but neither of them was paying any attention.

“Juliana and I had a fight earlier,” Valentina stated after a while, “we made up but I’m not sure if we’re okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she offered, hoping Valentina felt comfortable enough to open up.

“Victoria, from ‘Chat with Victoria’, will be hosting special interviews for the 10th anniversary of her show over the next months and she invited us” Lupe knew what the girl was talking about, it was a big deal. “I know Juls doesn’t like attention but this interview could have been a great chance to introduce herself as a future designer. Anyway, she doesn’t want us to go. I’ll call Victoria tomorrow to let her know.”

Lupe could tell Valentina didn’t seem happy with the decision. “You know how stubborn Juli is. She doesn’t want any shortcuts to her success.”

“I understand and respect that. It’s one of the many things I love about her. I’ve never pushed her about interviews or public appearances before but this case is completely different. She’ll have to eventually promote her designs and I just want her to start with me by her side” she took a deep breath and looked down “It doesn’t matter, I can’t force her to do something she isn’t comfortable with.”

“Stubborn, just like her abuela” Lupe sighed. She knew her daughter though, even if the fight had been resolved she was still considering her girlfriend’s words.

“Eva will have her first parole hearing next week” Valentina said after more minutes of lingering silence. The oldest Carvajal sibling had pleaded guilty to all charges and accepted a deal of nine years in jail. “She has a very good chance of serving half of her remaining sentence.”

Lupe understood the true meaning behind those words. With Valentina’s complex life and family it’s inevitable that she’ll always be on the spotlight, she’ll always have to give interviews and avoid reporters on the streets. She wasn’t just worried about that Victoria interview but about how the two of them were going to navigate that aspect of her life.

“I know your relationship is very balanced and you respect one another. For the best part of the time you’ve been together, your main focus has been on Juliana. When Eva gets released you’ll have to prioritise her and your niece. I’m sure Juli will be by your side through that.”

“I know she will... It’s just that Juliana has already gotten out of her comfort zone so many times to support me. I’m not sure it’s fair for her to deal with my very public life and I don’t want push her away.”

“That’s not a fair way to treat yourself mija. You should never be afraid of being too much of yourself and I can promise you that Juli doesn’t want that either.”

“If you want my opinion, I think you’re right about the interview but she just needs more time to adjust to your reality.” Lupe continued once she realized that the girl wasn’t going to open up more “I don’t know how much she had told you about her childhood but she’s been through a lot. And you have to keep in mind that Juli is the first of her kind in our family.”

“What do you mean?” she asked with a raised brow.

“The women in our family had suffered from trauma and abuse all their lives. I tried to do better than them but it was Juliana who broke that toxic cycle. It’s not in our nature to be open, we’ve been taught that pain and suffering serve to make us stronger when in fact it breaks our spirits. Juliana was brave enough to fight for her happiness. By being with you she didn’t just take a step in the right direction, she took a leap.”

It took Valentina a moment to take these words in, “Juls is the bravest person I know and she inspires me to be braver too. I want nothing more than to make our relationship work but I also don’t want to lose ourselves in the process...”

Lupe nodded as she thought of the girl’s wording, ‘lose ouselves’. “We humans are a constant work in progress Vale. Neither you nor Juli are the same people as when you first met and you’ll be completely different in two years from now. You should never sacrifice your individuality and you should choose the person you’re with every day. Because when it’s all said and done, people either grow together or apart.”

After a while, the other girl joined Juliana in bed. When Lupe came home the next day Valentina wasn’t around. Juliana had dark circles under her eyes and she refused to speak to Panchito and her. Lupe started getting worried when Valentina didn’t show up the following day neither. Whatever fight they had it seemed serious, if not outright threatening to their relationship.

Thankfully, the girls couldn’t stay away from each other for very long. The next evening, as the three of them were watching a Harry Potter movie the doorbell rang. Juliana run to the door and sure enough, there Valentina stood with flowers in hand and a bashful smile on her face.

They hugged and cried like the older girl had just returned from war.

Panchito and her shared a look.

Oh, young love...

Juliana soon relented and agreed to go to Victoria’s show. To the surprise of those who didn’t know her, Juliana charmed everyone during the interview and Valentina seemed more than happy to let her steal the spotlight. It wasn’t just the confidence, the elegance and the maturity with which she answered the often tricky, sensationalist questions but also her sense of humor that made everyone fall in love with her.

By the end of the interview her daughter’s name was the talk of the town. She was number one trend on twitter with her and Valentina’s combined name, Valiana, second and Valentina’s third. Stripped t-shirts that Juliana often wore on her every day life, including some paparazzi shots, became a trend amongst younger girls. People of all ages and genders stopped her on the street for a selfie and an autograph.

Juliana was touched but she also found the entire situation overwhelming. She felt more pressure to perform better at school and prove to everyone that she wasn’t getting preferencial treatment. She worked harder than ever before and by the fourth semester all that work came to fruition. Rafaela and a body of fashion designers picked her and other two students to represent her school on a national fashion contest, held by prestigious designers, called ‘Revelation designers: the future of Mexican fashion’.

* * *

Two weeks before the event Rafaela and a well known fashion designer, whose name Lupe couldn’t pronounce, invited the three undergrads to her personal studio for a private celebratory dinner. It’s something Juliana had been very anxious about. Plus-ones weren’t allowed but even if they were, Valentina was focused on finishing her dissertation which she had to send by the end of the week.

Lupe had other problems to deal with. Earlier that month she fell and broke her right leg while she was changing a lightbulb. Because of the back-breaking jobs she had worked her entire life and the bullet wound from two years ago, the doctor ordered her bed rest and as little movement as possible.

It’s something Lupe hated, she hated the idea of being a burden to Juliana and Panchito. The only thing that stopped her from disobeying the doctor’s orders was that she wanted to fully recover for Juliana’s debut.

Lupe was jolted awake by a loud noise coming from the entrance of the apartment. She was still disoriented so it took her a moment to gather her surroundings and hear a familiar yet uncharacteristically loud laughter that belonged to Juliana.

It also didn’t take a genius to realize that the girl was drunk which was unheard of since she despised alcohol. So, how did that happened and how did she get home?

“... and then after the champagne they opened a very expensive bottle of red wine. Why do people pay so much for stale grape juice?”

Once Lupe’s ears adjusted, she realized that Juliana wasn’t alone. She recognized Valentina’s voice but she couldn’t make out what she was saying since she was talking in a low voice. Lupe wanted to get up but the pain in her leg wouldn’t let her. She swallowed a pill with the water she had on her nightstand and waited for it to take effect.

She hated eavesdropping, but in her current state she felt vulnerable and she was very worried about her daughter. She was also curious as to why Valentina was there, it was clear that she had to stay up all night to finish her dissertation before the deadline.

“Por favor Juls stay still” she heard Valentina saying a bit later “So you’re 100% sure no one tried to get you drunk? I can end everyone’s carreer you know.”

Juliana giggled. “Yes, I mean I was careful but I had to drink y’know. When Rafaela opens bottles of champagne and wine for you, you can’t exactly say no.”

“Mi amor please be quiet, you’re gonna wake up your parents. I understand that but how did you end up in Armoir?”

“The rest dragged me there and I didn’t want to be a stuck up bitch so y’know I caved in. I drank shots and they were all horrible.” Juliana continued with a loud drunk voice ignoring Valentina’s shushing.

“Mi amor could you please sit on the sofa? We need to take off your clothes.”

“Que rapida me saliste ehh” she heard her daughter say and laughed at her own joke. Then some more noise came from outside which Lupe could guess was clothes being discarded “Val stop treating me like I’m drunk!”

“But you’re Juls and please stay still for a moment.”

“I mean I’m not that drunk” Juliana said while dragging the word ‘that’. Lupe desperately wanted to get up and check on the girls but her leg wouldn’t allow her to. She contemplated waking up her husband but she felt sorry for him, between his two jobs, his kids and this household he was wearing himself thin. So she was left with no choice but to be indiscreet and continue listen in on the girls’ conversation.

“Wanna bet that you won’t be able to walk straight if you get up?” Valentina challenged her.

“Pfft of course not” Juliana laughed again loudly “I can’t walk straight even when I’m sober. Do you know why?”

“Yes I know baby, that was my joke” the other girl chuckled.

“See! I can also steal your jokes, not only your heart!” Juliana said and Lupe heard a sound that resembled clapping. Was her daughter high-fiving herself? She had raised her better than that.

“Dork. Please can you put your leg on my knees. These boots are impossible.” She must have complied because Lupe didn’t hear anything for a minute.

“Vaaal...”

“Si mi amor?”

“We’ve never had sex in this couch. Wanna change that?”

“We’re not having sex while you’re drunk and with your parents next door.”

“Fine.”

“Could you please keep your voice down your mo-”

“That’s not what you usually say...”

Lupe wasn’t a prude, by any means, but she blushed. There’re some things that a mother shouldn’t know about her child. She suddenly felt jealous of Pancho and his ignorant bliss. That’s when she decided to get up, but actually doing so was another story.

“Vaaal!”

“Si mi amor?”

“I love you!”

“I know” a moment’s silence “Que?”

“Why didn’t you say you love me back?” Juliana complained and Lupe knew they had a long night ahead.

“It’s a quote from- nevermind. Say what? If you keep your leg still I will say it back.”

A loud noise came from outside which indicated that one boot was removed. Lupe managed to finally move her leg enough to be able to sit on the edge of the bed. Now she only had to take a step to reach for the crunches.

“You did great mi amor, I love you.”

“No Val, I love you more. I love you so much! And about the other day-”

“We’re gonna talk about it when you’re sober. Could you give me your other leg now?”

“Val listen to me. I don’t know why I panicked, I was stupid. I love you more than anything else in the world and I want everything you want. I want the white picket fence house with the two and a half children and the golden retriever.”

After a long moment Lupe heard the other girl reply “I’m so glad to hear that but we really should talk about it tomorrow. These laces are gonna be the end of me.”

“Val, I want to grow old with you and in the next life, we’ll find each other again.”

Lupe had by now grabbed her crunches and walked to the door of her bedroom. She opened it but she hesitated with the sight in front of her. Juliana had her eyes closed and a content smile on her face. She had her right leg resting on Valentina’s who was trying to untie Juliana’s boot. At that particular moment Valentina had stopped her attempt as she stared at the girl with unparelled love and devotion, softly caressing her leg. Lupe silently closed the door, feeling like she was intruding on a very private moment. She’d have to wait for a few minutes.

She continued listening, waiting for the right moment to appear.

“Juls, this is one of the most romantic things you’ve ever told me and I really wish you were sober now.”

“I wish I was sober too.”

“I’ll make sure to remind you tomorrow.”

“Nooo, I’m gonna be so embarrased! I’m not supposed to believe in destiny.”

“Right, I forgot” Valentina chuckled.

“Vaaal?”

“Si, mi amor?”

“My stomach hurts...”

That was enough for Lupe, she opened the door and made her presence known. The two of them were hugging, Juliana was wrapped around Valentina like a koala. The sober girl was the first to notice her and she started to slowly disentagle herself from Juliana “Lupe I’m so sorry we woke you up. Please go to bed, you should be resting.”

She was about to dismiss Valentina’s concerns but Juliana’s sudden hysterical laughter distracted them. “Mama, your hair! You have a perm!” her daughter was pointing her index finger at her as her head fell back.

Lupe felt her brow rising, unimpressed by her daughter’s antics. Valentina looked down, probably to supress her own giggles. Juliana walked towards her and pulled her in a warm hug “I love you mama, you’re the best.”

“Juls, her leg!”

“Sorry mom...”

“Don’t worry mija I’m okay. I love you too.”

Juliana gave her a bright smile, like those from back when she was a young child, before she had to face this world’s cruelty. Lupe couldn’t resist and pulled her daughter in for another hug. “Mamaaa?”

“Si Juli?”

“I want to puke...”

Before Lupe could react, Valentina removed a band from her wrist and tied Juliana’s hair in a tight ponytail. “Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom.”

“Vale you don’t have to do this, I’m gonna-”

“Don’t worry Lupe, I want to take care of Juls. You should go back and let your leg heal.”

“Vaaal I think I’m dying...” With that Valentina took her hand and led them to the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

Sleep was impossible for Lupe now so she decided to make tea instead and, without realizing, she started reflecting on her past in San Antonio. She rememebered how she used to excuse Chino’s drunk behavior by saying that he wasn’t himself because he was drunk. Lupe knew better now.

Alcohol is a truth serum, it allows people to show their true colors. When Chino got drunk he became more aggresive and manipulative. His daughter though? His daughter only became more openly expressive.

Her husband got out of their bedroom and distracted her from her thoughts. His hair was messy, his eyes almost closed still disoriented from sleep and she suddenly felt like she loved him a bit more. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Juliana came home drank and she’s currently throwing up...”

“What? Should I checked on her?”

“You don’t have to, Valentina is with her.”

“Valentina? Doesn’t she have a college thing?” he looked at her confused and she shrugged. Apparently the girls couldn’t stay away from each other even for one night. First love is really like this and she’s glad that her daughter was luckier than her.

About five minutes later the girls got out of the bathroom. Juliana looked exhausted and a little bit out of it. Lupe tried to get up but her leg hurt in the process so she stopped.

“She’s fine Lupe, just a little bit grumpy” Valentina explained and then greeted Panchito with quick a hug.

“It was horrible. I couldn’t puke until Val fingered me” Juliana commented oblivious to the double meaning of her words and the awkwardness that filled the room.

“She meant I put a finger on her throat” Valentina rambled with a red face “To make her... to induce...”

“Don’t worry Vale, we understand” Lupe reassured her.

“Can I use the bathroom?” Panchito asked and Valentina nodded “Do you need any help with Juli?”

“Panchito, do you know you’re like the best dad of all time?” Juliana smiled with closed her eyes. She tried to walk to her room and she stambled but Valentina caught her before she fell.

“It’s okay I’ll take care of Juls, seriously. You should both get some sleep and sorry for waking you up.”

Panchito was blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to hide how touched he felt by Juliana’s words, he simply smiled and went to the bathroom. Lupe made another attempt to get up but before she could manage to stand up the girls had already disappeared in Juliana’s room.

She waited for her husband to get out and then he helped her walk to her daughter’s bedroom. They knocked on the door twice before they opened it to find Juliana wearing matching fuzzy gray pajamas with ducks on it, face buried in her pillow and her left hand hanging from the bed. Valentina was trying to turn her around but to no avail.

“Is everything alright Valentina?” Panchito checked up on them but before he could get any reply from the sober girl, Juliana mubbled something to her pillow.

“Mi amor we can’t hear what you’re saying, could you turn to lie on your back please?” when Juliana didn’t comply her girlfriend added “Do you know that this was how Jimi Hendrix died? He choked on his own vomit.”

That not-so fun fact was enough for Juliana. She reluctantly tuned around and covered her eyes with her left hand “If I transmigrate do you promise to love my new body too?”

“Yes I promise but let’s not take our chances tonight” Valentina let an amused chuckle and with Panchito’s help they moved the drunk girl into sitting position. Then Valentina grabbed a plastic bowl from the chair next to them and handed it to Juliana who accepted it without resistance.

The three sober people shared a look and agreed to walk outside. “Val don’t leave me alone...” Juliana whined, which made Lupe smile. She hasn’t heard that tone in over fifteen years.

“I’ll be right back in a second mi amor.”

“When you return I want hugs, okay?” Juliana pouted.

“Okay” she said with a big smile and kissed Juli’s knuckles.

“Val?”

“Si mi amor?”

“I prefer Collies...”

“Me too.”

After they made sure that the drunk girl was all settled and was feeling well enough to be left by herself for a few minutes, they exited the room. When they finally settled on the dining table, all three of them started talking at the same time. Once they stopped, Valentina went on to apologize again but the two of them reassured her that everything was fine.

Then she explained what happened with Juliana. She mentioned some of the things Lupe had overheard but apparently Juliana called her while drunk and Valentina rushed to her side, abandoning her homework without a second thought. She helped her leave that club and with the assistance of an uber driver she got her all the way home.

Lupe was once again taken aback by how immensely the girl cared for Juliana. She didn’t want to imagine what might have happened had Juliana not called her girlfriend. “Thank you so much Valentina”

“Of course Lupe. You don’t have to thank me, I’d do anything for Juls.”

“I know but thank you regardless.”

“What happened to the college thing you had Vale?” Panchito then asked.

“It’s not a big deal” she said, waving her hand dismissively.

“Of course it is! It’s your future! You should go home and focus there” Lupe insisted.

“No, I’m not leaving Juls in that state and your leg-”

“Lupe’s right Valentina, she’s with us! Your dissertation should be your main priority right now.”

“Besides Juli will kill us if she finds out we let you stay.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I brought my laptop with me for this reason” she pointed at a chair where her big bag was resting “I’ll continue my paper while I keep an eye on Juls. Seriously, I won’t get any sleep either way. It’s better to be by her side in case she needs anything and maybe get some work done as well.”

Panchito and Lupe shared a look. He looked convinced but she wasn’t as much. She was her mother she needed to be there for Juliana. It’s not that she didn’t trust Valentina but her daughter needed _her_ , didn’t she?

“Come on Lupe, let’s go to bed”

“No.” What if Valentina fell asleep or got too focused on her screen to notice Juliana? There were so many things that could go wrong.

“Vaaal” a coarse voice came from Juliana’s bedroom “I need my hugs!”

“Come on” Panchito chuckled, rubbing her back “the princesita has decided.”

“But Juli-”

“Juliana has Valentina” he kissed her cheek, “and you have me.”

Lupe closed her eyes. Her mind flashed back to everything that girl has done for Juliana, how she looked at her earlier when she thought no one was watching. She remembered the responsible and careful way she had brought her home safely and how she has taken care of her since they arrived.

Panchito helped her stand up, then Valentina handed her the crunches. Lupe stared at the girl’s blue eyes in a way that said ‘take care of my daughter’, Valentina gave her a reassuring smile. A smile that meant ‘I will’.

After that, the three of them retrieved to their respective bedrooms. When Panchito closed the door behind them he carried her bridal style. “What are you doing?” she rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. He only had to walk a few steps to go to her side but they both enjoyed this act of chivalry.

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep but Lupe wasn’t that lucky. She contemplated the idea of checking up on the girls in the other room. Was Juliana going to be alright?

Then her husband’s words came back to her mind. Juliana had Valentina. And he was right.

They girls had one another.

Maybe Lupe needed Juliana more than Juliana needed her. She wondered if this was a stage every parent had to go through. To have to let their children go. Whatever the case might be, she’s always going to be a part of Juliana’s life but thinking of the girls’ relationship, she didn’t have any doubts. Lupe could let her go knowing that everything was going to be alright.

‘ _Juliana has Valentina and you have me._ ’

With that thought in mind, Lupe finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re still here thank you so much for reading! This chapter was originally going to be a tad bit angstier but with everything that’s happening to the world I wasn’t feeling it. Once again, thank you for reading and for leaving comments and kudos.   
> Stay home, stay safe and see you around!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fic and, in case you can’t tell, English isn’t my first language so I apologize for any mistakes. Feedback, positive or otherwise, is deeply appreciated.


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